The word “love” in a business context often raises eyebrows. For some, it may feel like an overly soft, inappropriate, or even irrelevant concept in the hard-edged world of corporate leadership. But if we peel back the layers of what love really represents—vulnerability, compassion, empathy, trust—we realize these are the very qualities that define strong, effective leadership.
Fear, on the other hand, has long been a default tool for many managers. Fear-driven leadership, whether conscious or not, is a pervasive issue that creates toxic environments and diminishes organizational productivity. And while some may argue that a little fear can be motivating, the reality is far more harmful. According to the 2023 global Love Leadership survey, one-third of corporate managers admitted that they were primarily motivated by fear. The ripple effects of this fear-based leadership are staggering. The survey found that these managers, intentionally or not, passed their fear onto their teams, fostering a culture of anxiety and micromanagement. This resulted in an estimated $36 billion loss in productivity in the U.S. alone. That’s an average of 10 hours a week per leader in wasted time—time that should have been spent driving their team’s success, not fighting internal struggles with fear, suspicion, and blame.
One of the most eye-opening aspects of the survey was how many managers denied their fear-based tendencies. As Margot Faraci, lead researcher, explained, “If we’d have said to them, are you fearful? They’d say no.” Instead, they answered questions about behaviors they regularly exhibited, such as avoiding difficult conversations, micromanaging, and showing aggression or defensiveness when things didn’t go their way. Many of these leaders probably wouldn’t even realize the emotional toll they were taking on their teams. But it’s clear: fear breeds more fear, distrust, and disengagement.
The antidote to this fear? Love.
While “love” in a business setting might still sound strange, we can reframe it to mean something broader and more essential: building environments of trust, respect, vulnerability, and compassion. It’s about creating psychological safety so people can be themselves and bring their best ideas forward without fear of retribution or blame. As Faraci points out, love in leadership is the opposite of fear. Where fear pulls people into defensive postures, love opens the door to creativity, connection, and resilience.
Writer Frank Calberg, in his book Working with Love, explores the profound impact love can have in the workplace. Calberg emphasizes that love is essential for creating a warm, collaborative environment where creativity flourishes, and conflicts are resolved more easily. He explains that love at work fosters higher motivation, better mental health, and stronger commitment among team members. When people feel valued and trusted, they are more willing to contribute their best ideas and energy. He also outlines key beliefs that weaken love at work, such as thinking some people are less worthy than others or that control and external motivation are the only ways to drive performance.
Calberg also highlights actions that reduce love in the workplace, including behaviors like judging, avoiding, or excluding people. These actions—common in fear-based environments—undermine trust and create disconnection. On the flip side, Calberg offers ways to foster love in the workplace, such as recognizing contributions, listening deeply, and communicating with kindness and honesty. He believes that transparency, a core principle in self-managed organizations, is crucial for love to thrive. Creating an open, authentic space allows for problem-solving and emotional intimacy, both key ingredients of a psychologically safe workplace.
One of the best examples of love-based leadership I’ve seen came from Sean Lane, CEO of now-defunct startup Circulo Health, where I served as CTO. Sean developed a leadership philosophy called “LOVE to Lead,” which, as the acronym suggests, focuses on key principles that guide leaders to approach challenges with care for the people they serve. His methodology is simple but profound:
- L stands for Leadership Problem. Sean emphasized that nearly every issue in an organization boils down to a leadership problem. Even tactical issues reflect some aspect of leadership that needs attention.
- O represents Otherhood, reminding leaders to focus on the people in the organization who may feel underappreciated or unseen.
- V stands for Vision, highlighting the importance of leaders bringing the collective vision of the organization to life rather than merely focusing on their personal agenda.
- E is for Expectations, urging leaders to be crystal clear about what they expect because unmet expectations are the root of most frustrations.
During my time working under Sean at Circulo, I saw how his approach created a culture of inclusion where people were more engaged and willing to bring their best ideas to the table. Sean’s approach also mirrors what we strive for in self-managed organizations. Self-management fosters love-based leadership by its very design. When people are given autonomy, responsibility, and trust, they’re allowed to lead themselves in ways that align with their strengths, passions, and values. Leaders in these environments serve more as coaches or facilitators, creating space for others to succeed rather than hoarding power or authority.
Calberg’s work reinforces these ideas, offering practical steps to designing loving work environments. He suggests organizing in small teams, creating transparency, and even simple acts like sharing appreciations at the end of meetings. In fact, Calberg uses an example from my time at Wikimedia Foundation, where we had a practice called “Wiki Love”—a moment at the end of meetings to express appreciation for colleagues. This was also the first time I encountered the word “love” used in a business context, and I introduced the same practice at Circulo, calling it “CircuLove.” See how easy that is?
Self-management thrives when love—trust, empathy, and compassion—becomes the foundation of leadership. This model encourages every team member to be seen and heard, providing them the space to take ownership and drive their own decisions. As opposed to fear-based structures, where a few control the many and anxiety reigns, self-management is a living example of how love can transform an organization, unlocking the potential of every individual.
In today’s fast-moving, complexity-filled world, the old model of fear-driven leadership simply can’t keep up. Micromanagement, suspicion, and power-hoarding may produce short-term compliance, but they stifle innovation and disengage the very people we need to solve the world’s hardest problems. It’s time we shift the paradigm. By leading with love, we invite our teams to step into their full potential. We create environments where people want to show up, contribute, and stay for the long haul.
So, let’s reframe the conversation. Love isn’t a soft concept; it’s the strongest one we have. Leading with love means building trust, fostering compassion, and embracing vulnerability. It’s about creating workplaces where people feel valued, safe, and empowered to do their best work.
And that’s the kind of leadership the world needs more of.
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